Huinesoron was walking.

He enjoyed walking. The worst thing that could happen when you went walking was probably a dragon attack, and everyone, especially the dragons, knew that dragons didn't exist.

Something crept up on him.
Something dark and primeval, that dwelt in the dark places in his brain and told him things like 'Don't eat glass,' and 'Don't touch fire,' and 'Don't bloody eat glass, you idiot!' and 'Don't walk in that dark alleyway,' and 'Spit the glass shards out, you ponce! I can't believe you ate it!' and 'Oh, my God, you're bleeding, you idiot!' and so on and so forth.
It told him to look to the right.

There were three people, and he recognised all of them.
Mattman the Comet, Matt Cipher, and eatpraylove.
He recognised the looks on their faces, too.
Flashbacks broke into his head like Vietnam era helicopters. A shudder ran down his bones, and caressed his skull with the care of an ogre masseuse. His stare went far, far past a thousand yards, as the memories dug their way out of his mind.
Sweat broke out, as a single word rung through his skull.
Tedious.

'I'm married, you know,' He whimpered, suddenly wishing that he was being attacked by a dragon, as they untangled themselves (mostly) and approached.

~

Welcome to the bloodbath, brother.
I hope you brought soap.