Disclaimer: I don't own Warhammer 40k, D&D the PPC, the Old or New World of Darkness, Instrumentality, or Jayacacia ThornByrd.
Chapter Three: A Hope Crushed.
HQ was in trouble.
Swarms of Daemons poured out from the now-corrupted ruins of OFUM, while huge numbers of PPC Agents, who were present at the time of the first libations in HFA, suddenly turned into Sues and Stus. At the same time, armies of pink-clad fangirls portaled into DoDAEG and began to "do it" with the corpses stored there, cutting off the power all over HQ, and the food in the Cafeteria came to life and turned into a surging mass of horrible monstrosites, who ate everyone in their path. Seconds later, the staff of DoSAT were suddenly found dead, stuffed into a fridge. Even the males.
The Tomb of the Unknown PPC Agent glowed red as a sign of doom, and countless Specters (from oWOD) rose up from the floor below. They were followed by several Abbysal Beings (from nWOD) who began their horrible work on HQ's denizens. There was no place safe, as even Medical was being ravaged by Mindflayers.
A full Company of Chaos Space Marines were sent to DIO, since they were one of the few beings who could have withstood the mix of Urple, Wilver, and Bello that guarded it's headquarters. They made 'pickled peppers' jokes at Agent Peter Piper and weren't punished for it, another sign that this was the Time of Judgement. Legal was under siege. The laws diminishing a monolouging villain's chance of winning had already been altered so that a villain who felt the urge to brag about his, her or it's evil plan can do so without any danger.
The Secret-Self-Defence-Circle (SSDC) were watching all this from a hidden command center situated on the second floor in the Starbucks' outside of HQ.
HQ is falling said the Sub Rosa, who was sipping an Ice Mocha Latte.
There is still hope said the SO. Captain Dandy and the Tiger lily have been sent to Legal with all the Weeds we can spare, and several Agents have been safely evacuated to the New Caledonia haven.
The Canon Nursery is safe as well. The NMG hasn't targeted children yet, and don't plan to even if they take over Legal.
Really? Thank you, Marquis. Hornbeam, what do you plan to do about the destruction of your department?
Avenge them. Techno-Daan and Tess were competent staff members, and without them, I don't think DoSAT will be a viable Department of the PPC. Do I have permission to ressurect them?
Yes. Here are two scrolls of True Ressurection Captain Dandy picked up in the OOTS universe.said the SO.
Have one Architeuthis picked up, as well. You need to ressurect Makes-Things, you know said the Sub Rosa.
Ah. But Makes-Things isn't really dead, you know.
What, he isn't?
No. He isn't. You see, I brainwashed him around the time of the Mary Sue invasion, so that he can work on fulfilling my true agenda since the destruction of Origin: INSTRUMENTALITY!
Suddenly, the Hornbeam's old form exploded as a grotesque monstrosity of wood and metal burst out from it.
Acting quickly, the Sunflower official attempted a Time Stop, but the Hornbeam blasted him with a powerful Firestorm. Thankfully, the Flower had used an extra powerful buff to protect himself against fire.
The Marquis began to play a powerful Bardsong, but was stopped by several wires that burst from the deranged Hornbeam. The Sub Rosa tried to free him with a psionic strike against the wires, but was in turn entangled in them.
Why? asked the SO.
Why, would you ask why? Ever since you became the leader of the Organization, you have only settled for stanching the wounds in Canon, the symptoms of the Multiverse's disease. What's more, you have not excised the natural features of Canon that attract such filth, but also insist on protecting them!
And what do you expect me to do? Be like the Mysterious Somebody?
At least he tried to create a soltution to the Multiverse's problems! He tried to bring unity! UNITY!
You've gone insane.
Insane, am I? Perhaps. Perhaps... But let's see as the inhabitants are brought into my utopia, through my...HIVE MIND!
Suddenly, the wires that bound the Sub Rosa and the Marquis thrust into their brains, rendering their bodies limp.
Now, I have enough power to beat you even at your level... Prepare to-
The SO disappeared.
Psycho!Thundera had finally managed to kill the Tiger Lily, after a huge battle in which the reinforcements she was bringing, 600 Sues and 1,600 fangirls, were decimated by one-third. Now, she faced Captain Dandy, her sword glittering as the sap of the recently desceased Flower turned into Sue Blood.
"You loved her, didn't you? You loved her and didn't know it until her unfortunate demise. Well, that only makes it more pleasurable!"
You second Ontic... PREPARE TO DIE! The Paladin lifted up his katana and said: 100% Smite Evil!
Psycho!Thundera laughed at him, and dodged. The katana cleft into the ground, opening a huge rift. The depraved Sue then smirked, and said: "That is not how you do holy powers, Weed!"
Angel wings then burst from her back, accentuating her leather jacket and pants nicely. She then lifted up her sword and a beam of holy light then came down from the sky and consumed the Captain whole. When it abated, the Flower was still alive, though horribly singed and clearly in pain.
He tried healing himself, but he was engulfed by a storm of Urple flames that Psycho!Thundera had summoned from her sword. Now almost dead, he got up one last time and said: Die! as he made one last thrust.
Psycho!Thundera dodged. "Tsk...Tsk...Pathetic".
She then slit her wrist with her sword, and glittery blood dripped down to the Tiger Lily's corpse. As the Captain watched, the person he cherished most came back to life...as a Sue.
Hello, Captain. Why don't you and I 'pollinate' to Avril Lavinge? Not that you have a choice...
Then the now-suefied Tiger Lily removed his sword, armour, and clothes.
What came later was...graphic.
Psycho!Thundera laughed loudly, and summoned her motorbike, Volxemort (not to be confused with Voldemort).
She then sped to where the remaining Weeds were evacuating Legal's remaining personnel.
"You're not getting away that easily, boys and girls..."
The sounds of the slaughter and subjugation lasted for several hours.
This cannot be happening... This cannot be happening...
The Sunflower Ofcicial kept saying that to himself as he ran through the halls of HQ, burning up several high-level spells in just the first thirty minutes. While he had killed most of HQ's assailants, any Agents he came into contact with were suddenly brainwashed by Hornbeam, who gave them a large enough percentage of his power to hold their own against him. He was also distraught, almost broken in fact, by the betrayal of his fellow Firstborn and close friend.
No...just...No. Please...let this all be a cruel trick...
He kept running and running, hoping that Luxury, who wasn't evil at heart, or Maeluwien, a Parody!Sue were still alive and would give him shelter, as he was that desperate. Unfortuanately, the NMG got to them first, killing them and stuffing them into fridges along with several males.
He then sat down on the hard floor of HQ, and began to cry.
"Don't do that, husband..."
The Sunflower shuddered. There was only one being who had ever dared to call him that: Jayacacia Thornbyrd.
She wore a bikini made out of Silk engraved with Tengwar on the top half, and Cirith on the bottom. They both read: X with me and some other stuff. She wore a crown made of Rubies, Orange Topaz, Yellow Tourmaline, Green Emeralds, Blue Sapphires, Indigo Tourmaline, and Violet Amethyst.
She looked like a blazing rainbow (there were diamonds in her crown as well) and she also had a Jade comb in her very long hair which-(AN: My computer does not have enough memory for the rest of my description. Sorry!)
The Sunflower Official, his brain tired out, said: 100% Disjunction!, and a beam of light came out of his finger and destroyed Jayacacia's clothes, crown, and comb. Despite the fact that as a construct, Jayacacia should have been destroyed as well, her body stayed intact.
The Sunflower had no will left to resist her buxom charms, and ripped off his clothes and thrust his hardness, which had come out of nowhere, into her.
And so the end of the PPC drew even closer.
Author's Note: I didn't get the five good reviews I asked for, but I still want them!