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The Science of Suedom
221bagel -- Mystery/Adventure -- Posted: 27/09/2012 -- Updated: 30/09/2012
“You appear to be my new partner,” Agent John Watson remarks as the door to his Response Centre swings open and in strides a tall man with curly dark hair, sharp cheekbones, and a dark Badass Coat.

“Obviously,” replies his new partner, taking off his dark blue scarf.

“Well, um. What’s your name, then?” John asks, but the man ignores him, walking over to their console and inspecting it.

“Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?” he asks after a moment.

“What?” John asks.

“Which fandom did your last partner die in? Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?”

“Lord of the Rings… how did you know that?”

“The types of swords along the walls as trophies, the spare wands… we’re in the Department of Mary Sues, so the balance of probability is that your partner died fighting with a Warrior!Sue. You yourself sustained a wound in there too, but your limp’s obviously psychosomatic - must’ve been a Legendary Badfic, if it was that traumatising.”

“That’s fantastic.”

“I’m Agent Sherlock Holmes, by the way. I expect that our first mission will be right about -“

[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!]

“Now.”
Reviews
221bagel
If you bothered to watch BBC Sherlock, you would understand the reference.
Ameyumi-sama
And who is this Anderson you're talking about? Do you mean Neo?
221bagel
Truly, Anderson, I didn't ask for your opinion. There is action later on, but I surmise you are too narrow-minded to read past the exposition.
Ameyumi-sama
Bah! This was so boring! I hoped that there would be more ACTION! Or some romance. Aren't they together? If not, they should because they're sooo kawaii together!
221bagel
Thank you.
Penguin King
Wow. Just wow. When I saw the title, I thought that this would suck, but you surprised me. You really caught the tone of Sherlock Holmes, as well as that of the PPC.
221bagel
Dull. What is with you fanbrats and your obsession with sexual intercourse? Are you so lacking in it in your sorry 'normal' lives that you insist on hearing the details of Sherlock and John's?

Sherlock does not fall in love. It is a foreign concept to him.
HrryPttrLuvr111111
O EMMM GEEE!!!!1!111! sherlok an jawn r lik mi fav charries evr!!!1!1!11! u shud mak them hav sex bcus jawnlock iz lik teh hottst ting evr xcept 4 drarry caus drarry is awsum. teh onluy bad ting iz dat ther r 2 many long wurds an capital lettrs an thers nut a prettty gurl 4 sherlok 2 falll in luv wit.
221bagel
My dear fanbrat,

Not only are you the lowest common denominator in this sorry world but you also need to revisit both the BBC and ACD canons. Not once in the course of the ACD canon has Sherlock Holmes ever said 'Elementary' and 'My dear Watson' in the same line.

You couldn't not understand a simple opening? Dear god, what is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring!
Kawaiinekochan
theres to many big words u shudnt post storys if pople cant understand them. and i thot sherlock sed "elemetry my deer watson' not physcotropic or watever.