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DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the PPPC. But Androiaavata is mine!
Acacia grinned. "Depends on who you ask. Remember I started out in the Slash Department?"
“STOP! Have a break!” a male voice shouted with a thick German accent. (A/N: His universal translator is broken. LOL)
The assassins whirled around to gaze at the portal that had just popped into existence behind their backs. A grey-bearded man, wearing rectangular spectacles and clutching a voluminous book to his chest, had stepped out of it, followed by a young woman with very long, very pointy ears, holding a staff in her hands. Both were clad in black uniforms with flash patches on their shoulders.
“More agents,” sight Jay. “Isn’t it enough that we have to keep an eye on Lux and Sean?”
Acacia drew her bow. “Agents?” she shouted. “They’re imposters! Have you ever seen a flash patch with an open book and a quill dropping red ink?”
When Jay moved to draw her bow too, the pointy-eared girl pointed her staff at her, saying menacingly “You keep quiet and don’t move. We don’t have any business with you today.”
“And you don’t even sink about notching an arrow, Acacia” added the grey-bearded agent. “My girl has magic, and she heartily dislikes everybody who intrude into worlds where say don’t belong, so she won’t hesitate to use it.” (These aren’t misspellings. Germans cannot pronounce the “th”, LOL.) To demonstrate this ability, the elf leaned her staff against her shoulder and made a weird wringing gesture with her hands, creating a ball of pure blue energy. (A/N Did you think Androiaavata is a Tolkien elf? LOL, no! She is a WoW druid and can do this kind of stuff.) Acacia lowered her bow in fear. “Dad’s better,” continued the man in a soothing voice, “now calm down and don’t worry. We aren’t imposters, we are with se Department of Inaccuracies and have a job to do. Miss Byrd, will you please step forward?”
“Never heard of this,” murmured Acacia under her breath, but despite the weird pronunciation there was a certain kind of power in this voice she just couldn’t disobey. So she stepped forward, eyes cast down and anxiously awaiting what was to come.
“I’m so sorry I have to do sis,”, said the bearded man, “because you know, you are quite legendary in my time, but – AVAUNT!” he shouted suddenly, thwacking Acacia above the head with his heavy book, “Spirit of inaccuracy! It’s the Department of *Bad* Slash!”
“I admire how you manage to say the stars,” whispered the she-elf-who-wasn’t-an-elleth, giving him an admiring look.
“Asterisk,” hissed the man, “se word you are looking for is asterisk. We will have to work on your vocabulary when we are back at our response center.” The tall warrior-sorceress seemed to shrink under his piercing gaze. “We are done here,” he addressed the assassins again, “continue your mission now.” And with this, the two correctors stepped back through the portal, which fizzled out of existence immediately.
Jay blinked. “Where were we before these two jerks interrupted us?”
“Remember I started out in the Bad Slash Department?" Acacia reminded her helpfully.
"Ah. Yes." Jay nodded. "However, I KNOW Sir Ian McKellan's -hem- preferences, whereas Tolkien really made all of his charactehs ratheh sexless.”
AN: So what do you think? Plz R+R! LOL, I don’t even know what’s meant by this, but everybody writes it at the end of their stories.
(I thought about accusing them to have inspired the Department of Author Correction when they exorcized an Author Wraith. “There’s no author in the story, stupid! It’s a slash demon!” But I couldn’t find the place where replacing a single word would change history and save us all. It may not even be in TOS. Do any of you Oldbies remember when and where the first Author Wraith was exorcized?)
|1 Chapter 1|