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The Darkness Within
Darkotas -- Fantasy/Action -- Posted: 23/09/2014 -- Updated: 23/09/2014
Darkotas crouched in the bushes, tracking his prey. Using his superior Fel-enhanced senses, he soon found them - a horde of Sues. Grinning wickedly, he turned to his minions, who suddenly appeared behind him with a wave of his hands. "Are all of you ready?" He said with a smirk. They all nodded. Rushing out of the hole he was in, he set upon the Sues. He grabbed the first one with both of his hands, cursing the unfortunate target with a withering curse. As he did so, he drew his spell blade to stab another nearby Sue, consuming the soul as it exited the body. After the curse was complete, he removed his hands from the first Sue, turning to face another. Behind him, his minions pounced on a third Sue, tearing it apart. As he faced a large group of heavily armed Sues, he saw a lone figure attempting to sneak up behind him. Still facing the armed group, he turned to cast a horrifying illusion towards the attacker. The threat averted, he resumed charging his spell. They rushed towards him, and he released his power, immediately incinerating the Sues into a pile of steaming glitter. He turned once more to glance at the final Sue, screaming in fear as the visage showed him his greatest fears. The Sue stabbed wildly, catching Darkotas with a direct hit. The blade bounced off of his armor harmlessly, and slew the Sue. He decided to take a trophy, and shrunk the head of his foe after burning the rest. As he walked towards the barren land where he was hiding earlier, he cracked a smile.
What have we here?

A wall-o-garbage, that's what.

Can you write anything else than gratuitous viloence or are you not old enough to understand what dialogue is?

0/10. Somebody kill me.
Oh, wonderful. Another flamer.

In all seriousness, though, instead of going around flaming, why don't you try giving better constructive criticism? Like, "You need to start a new paragraph whenever a different person speaks."

Not your hateful comments. They help nobody.

Your rating method seems familiar... I'm pretty sure I've seen you before. Do you go around flaming everyone out of sheer spite?
The truth hurts. Suck it up, you big wuss. Your not going to be coddled forever, so might as well get used to the harsh realities of life.

The Internet is full of @$$hats like me. Maybe you did see me somewhere, maybe yuo didn't.
You people simply don't recognize true genius. I can tell that my creative genius is unappreciated here. The lack of dialogue represents the void that exists in the heart of the character, while the sparkles of the Sues represent the futility of endeavor that the flames attempt to quench. The minions are the inner demons of the protagonist in an outward form. Not that I would expect any of YOU to understand, though. I shall simply take my works of art to another fanfiction site.
Lookie here, another emo kid.

Good call on leaving here.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Hope and Love2
U R Sew Meen
This was good! But is Dakota a Elf? That@s what fell means, rite? Lol it does'nt matter anyway becaus I really liked this!
O wow! U r really good! I reall like ur story! Darkoats is really cool, i bet hez hawt lol. But what is he, tho? He does curses, os is he like form Harry Potter or sumthing? Also who r his minions, and I think ur supporsed 2 put blank lines btween parts like when sum1 talks? Not a flame, plz dont b mad! Write more, I realli like this!