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Internet Culture » OFUs » The Diary of Lilith Wydenbrooke
Author: Lilith Wydenbrooke
Fiction Rated: G - English - General/Romance - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-07-09 - Updated: 11-07-09 - Complete

Author’s Notes: This is the prequel to “Masquerade of OFUM”! Hope you enjoy reading it and Read and Review! Please!
The Diary of Lilith Wydenbrooke
September 1st
Dearest Elwing,
My name is Lilith Wydenbrooke, and I will be your best friend throughout our years together here at OFUM, the Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth. Somebody left you on my bed, and I find it very nice (and handy) to have a new friend and confidant.
First off, I would like to tell you of all the exciting things that have happened so far in my life. On Earth I am an ordinary preteen girl who is trying to survive the sudden onslaught if hormones. In fact, I find Frodo absolutely adorable! So right then and there, after I had read the trilogy three times through (each book, mind you), the Hobbit two times through, and the Silmarillion’s “Of Beren and Luthien” section six times (I read the rest at least four times through), I decided to watch the movies, and Frodo was even cuter! So then, I wrote a batch of crossovers and a few drabbles, and then, I wrote a Tenth Walker Mary-Sue. Well, I wrote it purely out of curiosity, and, so, curiosity sent the cat to Middle-earth.
I have a carbon of my acceptance letter and registration form. Here it is:

Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth
Headmaster: [That’s for me and the staff to know, and you to find out. Signed, Miss Cam]
Assistant Headmaster: Gandalf Stormcrow
Course co-ordinator: Miss Camilla Sandman
Head of staff: Aragorn, son of Arathorn, King Elessar, Strider, Wingfoot, the Elfstone, etc.

Dear Miss Lilith Wydenbrooke,
We are not completely pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at OFUM, the Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth. We have become aware of your most recent fanfiction piece entitled “A Mary Sue in Middle Earth”.
Below is a list of subjects you will be covering this year and your registration form. Please fill out the form.
We hope to see you at OFUM tomorrow via Rohan Express carriage!
Signed, Miss Cam

Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth
Registration Form
NAME: ____________________
Elf/Hobbit/Dwarf/Man (Homo Sapiens)/*Other (please specify) ______________
*Note: if your race is one that can enchant males, the influence will not affect them here at OFUM.
Male Female
Legolas/Frodo/Aragorn/Boromir/Pippin/Merry/Sam/Other (please specify) ____________

So that’s pretty much what the form looked like, really. So I filled it out, and went to sleep, as it was nighttime, you see. When I woke up, I was being tossed around in a carriage. That continued for some time before we pulled up to an imposing castle. There was a wide lake, and a forest of Ents, I believe. Looked quite like Hogwarts, if I do say so myself.
Now, Elwing, did you know that my Student Advisor is LEGOLAS THRANDUILLION, of all the Elves in Arda. I had wished for Elrond or Frodo. I’d choose Elrond since he would actually give advice, seeing as how Imladris is, according to canon, supposed to be a place where one gets advice and knowledge. And I wanted Frodo because of my hormones. What?
You know what else, Elwing? Legolas actually seemed enthusiastic about this whole ordeal, as he insisted on escorting me right into the auditorium. Why then, I ask you, did Eru give me legs? If he insists on propelling me around, I will never need to walk again. How nice.
But he is quite a polite elf, in some ways. He kissed my hand and now half the girls in the University are trying to fish the details out of me, including my own roommate, Nimloth. She is a Legolas Luster and an elf as well. As long as it isn’t Rosalie Berthilide Evangeline Eglantine Pottermalfoy Sparrowturner Hawkesbury I shall be fine, actually. Really, does the wretch need so many names? She is also a Chibi Elf Mary Sue. Trying to catch Legolas’s attention, obviously. As if. Didn’t she read the form?
September 2nd
Dearest Elwing,
I think I have a “secret” admirer. I went to the library this morning and when I returned to the dorm to change for the party tonight I found a dress on my bed. There was a note attached to the green brooch on the matching cloak. Not idly do the leaves of Lothlorien fall, and yet the cloak was of Lothlorien make, yet made for dances. I think this person who is giving me these gifts must be one of the Fellowship members after Moria. Here is the note:
Dearest Lilith,
I love your hair, like midnight in silky rivers.
I love your eyes, like the grey twilight.
If I made it clear that I love you, would you set your hands in mine?
We have met before, and we shall meet again, melamin.
~ An Elvish Admirer

I think the “Elvish Admirer” just made it clear who he is. Better not tell anyone who lusts after him, which is, what? Half of OFUM?
Dance was absolutely wonderful. Danced with Legolas a lot, before he noticed that a red-haired girl began hitting on Gimli. The girl fainted in his arms and Legolas carried her off to bed. Very nice of him, actually.

Miss Cam blinked as she looked at the diary. It was urple, with pages in wilver covered in blello ink. “What in Eru’s good name IS this?” she demanded of thin air.
The thin air was not sentient, so it did not reply.
The incensed Course Co-ordinator stood up, urple diary loosely clutched in her hand as if it might explode. “I need to alert the staff and the mini-Balrogs. This menance must be stopped. Immediately.”
With that, she strode from the empty classroom.

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