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Judicature Beneath the Violaceous Firmament
LizardFancier -- Adventure -- Posted: 20/09/2013 -- Updated: 20/09/2013
Agent Clarke Smithers, senior Floater Agent operating under the benevolent auspices of the august Protectors of the Plot Continuum, ambulated his last few steps through the scintillant, ultramarine aperture, instantaneously ferrying himself and his SPAS-12 tactical arquebus from the Minotaurian geometric convolution (A/N: This is called “mythological allusion”- it's doubly smart, because you have to include a reference in your story, AND know myths and legends!) within which he had spent the last decumvirate of his own meager existence, ever after that fateful day when the world of Black Mesa had through tragedy transmorgified itself, inverting from a humble and accommodating haven for natural philosophy to a Stygian hellpit torn asunder by the despondent wails of those few, meager, athirst ghosts still trapped beneath the Sysiphean (A/N: Triple mythological alolusions! That makes it 2^3 = 6 times as smart!) avoirdupois of its titian sedimentation, to a deserted trackway which meandered into the indistinct horizon like a cuckolded paramour (A/N: This is called a “metaphor”. They're an easy version of similies, so I don't use them as often) eternally seeking after the philanderer with whom she had shared her most intimate maidenhood, now a meager peasant of late 19th-century Czarist Russia (A/N: This is a HISTORICAL allusion- they're even harder to make than mythological and religious ones because you have to worry about offending people), granted only the most rudimentary cognizance necessary to internalize its servile role as a mere resilient terrain to accelerate the ebony-garbed operative (A/N: All the colors are symbolic colors, here and in the rest of the story!) towards his terminal harbor: “I have resided here, humble and mute, for an age without end,” the viaduct seemed to expostulate (A/N: You never want to just use the word “said”. “Said” makes your writing simple) into the amaranthine gloaming, “and I will reside here, humble and mute, for a later age everlasting.”(A/N: Personification is a great way to make more characters in your story) Smithers was a man of mundane countenance, bespectacled and near completely depilated, thin of limb and long of year, azure-eyed and sallow-skinned, garbed in a dingy laboratory cloak over his bureaucratically-mandated ebony vestments, the sole reminder of his initial vocation in the science of nuclear physics- a participal garment, of course, for Clarke Smithers was an eminently practical man, but like the amathyst-hued celestial dome that enfolded him and the bepebbled trackway beneath his booted feet, they lacked that sublime quality of emotional effervescence that theologians call soul; a fitting metaphor for Smithers' own peregrination across the face of the mortal coil.
Reviews
kelly_from_helly
Hey, I can do that to!

A female of the species homo sapiens, representing the reviewer, upon the culmination of a procedure which is noteworthy for its appliance of perusal as utilized on a solitary construct of literature whose sentences numbered greater than one but less than three, deliberated through cranial processes the statement reproduced hereafter: "Almighty being of indeterminate actuality, the presented narration is incontrovertibly dissatisfactory, and in like manner a disorienting fog compiled to the greatest extent through the medium of prepublished lexicon beacons!"

That took me a half-hour to write. I suspect its crud.
LizardFancier
It's not crud. It's art.
kelly_from_helly
No. It's crud. I'll admit it's a fine discinction, but most 12year olds would call that crud.
LizardFancier
IT'S ART!!!
TheGreatDestroyer
Let's all just agree that it's cruddy art.
kelly_from_helly
Yeah, but my "art" was deliberately cruddy, to show him why his was equally cruddy, if not moreso. I wrote it in half an hour and it translates to: "After I read this I thought, "God, this story is bad and confusing."" Whereas, his,... I'm not even sure if it means anything.
Shimata
Dood, what's wrong with you/ This thing is so confusing it sux balls. srsly, whats with all of those biggish words?
LizardFancier
If you can't understand it, it's what's wrong with YOU.
DazzlingStarryBrightness
This was soooo good I cudnt even understand it!
LizardFancier
I'm glad SOMEONE appreciates it.
PinkCarnations
I have no idea what happened, but it sure sounds like something cool did! Maybe you should uyse author's notes or something. Those always help!

Peace out!
LizardFancier
Good idea. I'll post an updated version!
DuskWater
That's so awesome!!! I love how you used so many cool words that don't really get used in normal conversations!!j that's really so cool. Adn I could totally follow it!!

**makes a note of a bunch of cool new words to use!**

~DW~*
JayBird
ummm kk thats' pretty kewl an i liek teh fact what you used teh long words also teh meterfor abut teh road bean like a foresaken woman whod had wrong done to her was good jus one tehng Im' not sure teh vidict can expostulate inot teh aramanthine gloaming be/c I think teh coluor youre thinjkning of is closer to alizarine b/c the sunset isnt' aramanthine but aprat taht its' good
LizardFancier
OF COURSE ITS ARAMANTHINE! YOU HAVE KNOW RIGHT TO CRITICISE ME BECAUSE YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL ONE WORD!!
DuskWater
I love the authors notes!!!!! And your whole stories so awesome!!! Tahnks for the a/ns--I love them!!! You seem really clever and I think I reviewed your stori already...did I?? Oh well, double reviews for you!!! Love your use of lanugae!!!!

~DW~*
LizardFancier
... most excellent.