"So, why am I doing this again?" Inquired Sonne. What appeared to be a gigantic... trampoline? (What the hell?) stretched from wall to wall across the large room they had found.
"Well, if you want this," Phobos produced a set of paperwork from inside his coat pocket, a very SPECIFIC set of paperwork from Upstairs. A form that would allow anyone who possessed it to spend one night in any continuum they wished, with anyONE that they wished. "So, you can do this for me and get one night, twelve full hours, with your Favorite..." his voice trailed off, leaving Sonne to fill in the rest for herself.
"Alright, but if I don't get it I WILL find a new use for those Flames I found." Sonne slipped off her dress and stepped off the Generic Surface.
"You made the right choice," replied Phobos as he dropped his coat.
Deep in the PPC Archives, Agent Neshomeh suddenly jumped as her computer beeped at her. Recovering from the alarm, she read over the report filling the screen.
"Boarders... shipfic... One True Pairing... paperwork? Oh, that's not right," she muttered. "Things are about to get real meta."
She got up and, in a shockingly boring "getting ready" montage to the tune of "Here We Go" by Dispatch, she made herself a travel cup of Earl Grey, pulled her hair back, stuck her oversized HFA-issue knitting needles in a holster, adjusted her glasses, and patted her mini-Budong, Chrichton, on the mandible on her way through the portal to the Board.
Of course, portaling to the exact location she wanted would have been too easy. Naturally, she was forced to look in several different rooms wherein activities of questionable decency were taking place, and to wade through several clots of bodies in the passages between. She did her best not to get any on her. Finally, she discovered the person she was looking for.
"Mr. Arrow? Yes? Good. Please come with me."
"I'll come with you all night long," the shippy newbie crooned.
"That's... er... nice. Let's go." She led the way, and Arrow followed like an intoxicated puppy.
Thanks to the Law of Dramatic Timing, they made it to a particular room in time to throw the door open just as Phobos' black trenchcoat hit the floor.
"Stop right there, please!" Agent Neshomeh shouted, causing Phobos and Sonne to turn their heads.
"Well hello there," said Phobos. "Fancy meeting you here. Who's your friend?" He winked flirtatiously at Arrow.
"Yeah, um, about that," Agent Neshomeh said. "Here's the thing: I'm not Boarder!Neshomeh; I'm not sure what she's up to, but I am sure I don't want to know. I'm from the Archives, and down there we get notices of anything that gets put in writing, including this lunacy. Normally it's kept inside a Creativity Shield, so nothing actually comes of it, but stuff happens. So, this guy here" -she cocked a thumb at Arrow&mdash "was writing you and Sonne as a One True Pairing, which is really not canon, and apparently provided you with some illicit and possibly fabricated paperwork. There's been a slight bleed into actual PPC continuity, so I'm here to close it. I'll need those papers."
She stepped nonchalantly toward the totally nude Phobos and extended a hand. Behind him, she could see that Sonne and Arrow had totally lost track of what was going on and were happily having it off on the trampoline. She shook her head; she'd meant to speak to Arrow about the whole OTP thing, but there was little chance of that now.
"So, wait," Boarder!Phobos said. "Let me make sure I understand what is going on. You are saying... that there are two of you right now? Awesome."
"Well, technically, yes-but that's not the point! I need that paperwork. And then I need to leave before... before..." She trailed off as Phobos stepped toward her.
"I'll give you what you want," Phobos said seductively. "But successful relationships need give and take."
"This is true," Agent Neshomeh conceded, feeling uncomfortably hot under the collar. "What did you have in mind?"
Phobos grinned.
A short walk and about half an hour later, Agent Neshomeh returned to the Archives with the paperwork she had come to retrieve, and what were probably her clothes. They had gotten all mixed up with Boarder!Neshomeh's, not that it mattered all that much. At least it was all canon. Sort of. In any case, the Earl Grey was put to good use, the continuity bleed was stitched up, the papers went into Chrichton's maw, and the record was truly set straight, with Arrow's misguided OTP trumped by one very meta OT3.
Agent Joan was lazily flipping through a maganize when she heard a buzzing sound. She lifted her head in time to see agent Neshomeh walking through a portal. She noticed Neshomeh was utterly naked, but holding her clothes, and frowned a bit just to replace the frown almost instantly with a broad smile.
"Seems you got your canon breach all fixed up, didn't you?" she said.
Agent Neshomeh just beamed.