"So," Hel said, sliding over to Ix, "I heard you were setting up as head PPC twink."

"Duh," Ix replied, "it's in my username in chat and everything."

"Well I think I can out-twink you," Hel said, "and I should have your spot."

Ix looked at Hel more carefully, admiring their rather cute face. "I can see why you'd think that, Hel. You're wrong, but I can see it."

"I can definitely tell why you think you should be the chief twink too, Ix, but I definitely deserve it." Hel replied, meeting Ix's gaze.

"So, let's fight for it, I guess? This is a pretty close call."

"Sword fight?" Hel suggested.

"First, oh my, and second, no, you'd kick my ass. Take some selfies, put it up to a vote?"

"Ix, you're a cinematography major, you'd win that easily." They paused for a bit, trying to think of a good contest while also admiring the view.

Ix was also switching between trying to think of a way to resolve this conflict and gazing longingly at Hel. Then, they had an idea. "So," they said.

"Yeah?"

"You know that thing that always happens in badfic? Tongues battling for dominance?"

"Yeah ..."

"We could do that."

"So, have a smooch-off to figure out who's twinkier," Helsinki said. "I mean, you're pretty good-looking, and I've been thinking that'd be nice for a while now, but I didn't want to say it ..."

"Honestly, same," Ix said. "It's as good an excuse as any. Even though it feels a bit contrived."

Hel shrugged. "Eh, whatever," and spread their arms out to hug Ix.

Ix accepted Hel's embrace, and then the two contenders for twinkest Boarder begin a long, passionate French kiss. However, their tongues didn't battle for dominance. Instead, they ended up metaphorically exploring and admiring each other.

Soon, the moment was over and the pair separated.

"That was nice," Ix said.

"Real nice. I liked that."

"Not sure who won, though," Ix said with a shrug.

"Seemed pretty even to me," Hel said. "We could share the title?"

"Earlier, I'd've objected, but ... yeah, seems fair."

"Co-head twinks," Hel said. "It's got a nice ring to it."

"Sure does. Now, unfortunately, I need to go torment my agents some more, so ... see you around?"

"Yep!"