Calliope took the cigarette from her mouth and exhaled. She leant back, closed her eyes, and sighed. 'Was that good for you?' she asked, looking to her side.

The apple did not reply. This was not because it thought that it wasn't good for it. Rather, this was because the apple was a fruit. The apple shifted slightly, rolling under the bedsheet.
Calliope grunted, raised an eyebrow, and turned to her other side. 'What about you?'

The mango was also a fruit. It did not say anything. It wobbled a bit, as Calliope moved on the bed. She glared at it. It did not say anything.

'Oh, come on,' she said, trying the puppy-eyes. The mango wobbled slightly, in reply.

Calliope placed the cigarette, and all the poisons and toxins and tar and grinded up cats and medical equipment it was made of to her sixteen year-old lips, to absorb all of it into her sixteen year-old lungs. This was a really cool thing to do, almost as cool as wearing sunglasses at night and driving incredibly loud cars next to people who are trying to sleep, and she would have recommended it to any audience who may have been observing this situation.

'Well, it was good for me,' she said, somewhat hurt.

((The true PPC OTP: Calliope/fruit. As requested by Cal, herself: 'threesomes or more (just keep them healthy)'!
We didn't specifically see fruit opt into the Shipfest, but fruit is the coolest and chillest of all foods, so we can simply assume it. And did you know that, even if fruit didn't want to be in the Shipfest, they wouldn't be angry? That's simply how cool fruit is.

Always make sure to eat fruit!
You've heard that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but did you know that a banana a day keeps the vet away? And did you know that a tomato a day keeps the maintenance man away? And a grape a day keeps the castle jester away? And a kiwi a day keeps the Dark Blood-Magician of Ut'Ul-Al away?
If you eat your daily required serving of fruit, you could keep any person of any occupation away! How about that!

Always make sure to eat fruit!
Sure, smoking and wearing sunglasses and driving fast cars and beating up old ladies is pretty cool, but you know what's even cooler?
Antarctica!
And you know what's even cooler than that? You if you eat fruit!

EAT FRUIT!))