Picture a young woman sitting on a sofa, swinging her legs. Picture her dark skin, her even darker hair. Picture her elegant dress swaying with every flick of her delicately-shaped ankles. She is reading a book - from your vantage point, you cannot make out the title, but the hammer and sickle on the red cover gives you a few hints.

The door swings open, and a man steps inside. His red hair is almost as long as his luxurious beard, swaying in the breeze he has just stepped out of. His jacket is a deep purple, elegantly cut, complementing his shirt perfectly.

He looks around and catches sight of the woman. His face lights up. "Alleb!" he calls, spreading his arms wide.

"Ypsi!" Alleb leaps from her seat and crosses to embrace him. "I was missing you," she says, her Russian accent strong. "Where were you being?"

"Oh, well..." Ypsi reaches up to rub the back of his head sheepishly. "There's a little... I mean, something's being organised outside."

"Oh?" Alleb swirls past him, catching his hand on the fly. "Then let us be going to see!"

She hurries out of the door, and stops short with a gasp of pure delight. In the formal garden below, a dance floor has been laid out, leading to... "The maze!"

"Of course, my love." Ypsi nuzzles at her neck from behind. "What sort of ball would this be if there weren't a maze involved?"

Alleb's laughter tinkles as she drags Ypsi to the floor. Soft music plays from concealed speakers, and the couple begin to dance under the golden moonlight. As they find their pace, they sway across the floor, and into the shadowy hedges of the maze.

There are other guests, she discovers as they foxtrot through the labyrinth. By the ornate fishpond, the couple pass a bench on which Calliope's and Cat-on-the-Keyboard's long golden hair blends into a single precious river. The tips trail in the diamond-clear water, but neither of the girls notices - or cares.

Later, under the willow arches, they come across a scattering of clothes, discarded in unseemly haste. The white velvet suit is instantly recognisable as Badger421's, and the silk sari is equally emblematic of KoolKoopaGirl. Alleb frowns slightly, and leans in to whisper in Ypsi's ear: "About the implication of this, I am not certain."

"It's quite all right, dear girl," Ypsi reassures her. "It is happening off-screen, after all."

"Ah. Yes, I am understanding."

The couple dance onwards, the music shifting with their movement, until at last they waltz into the open square at the heart of the maze. There, beneath the great bronze statue of the Muse, they find their friends have arrived before them.

Badger421 and KoolKoopaGirl step forward. The tall, dark-skinned couple have, Alleb is relieved to note, reclaimed their clothes, and they greet her with a formal bow and courtsey. "Your garden is most fair," KoolKoopaGirl says softly. "We thank you for your hospitality."

"No," Alleb says, her voice thick with emotion. "It is I who am thanking you. All of you, my friends, from the bottom of my heart - I thank you."

Okay, so... there's a tradition going right back to the first Shipfest of completely ignoring what people actually look like in favour of making it up. Given that the six of you had given such detailed descriptions, I felt it was not only fair, but necessary to respond by chucking them out and giving you new ones.