If one thing can be said about bunk beds, it's that they make for very fun parties.

Neshomeh, Darkotas, and Kaitlyn had claimed control of the bottom bunk and quickly set to work on building an intricate fort by hanging a sheet from the top bunk. Then they dived in, their antics quickly tearing the sheet down, not that any of them minded.

Meanwhile, Huinesoron, Iximaz, and Phobos were having their own fun in the top bunk. Sure, the horizontal space was limited, and it was had to stay balanced due to all the rocking coming from below, but that just made things all the more exciting.

Huinesoron stopped his ministrations to his top-bunk bedmates to lean over the side to watch his sexy wife and her two current lovers. Iximaz and Phobos, now distracted, leaned over the edge as well, watching their respective partners. Suddenly, the bunk tipped over and spilled everyone onto the floor, but they decided to continue on with what they were doing anyway. It was fun to mix things up sometimes. Besides, that wasn't the first time the bunk bed had been knocked over from a wild night.

---

Prequel

"She's plotting something."

Huinesoron glanced in the direction Kaitlyn had nodded. Iximaz, sitting at the far end of the table, was holding her chin and staring down at the older PPCers. "Of course she's plotting something," he murmured back. "She's a PPCer."

Kaitlyn elbowed him in the ribs. "Something more than usual. She looks like she's about to come out with a ludicrous plan involving, I don't know, cannons and Mary-Sues and-"

"Isn't that the summary for every mission ever?" Neshomeh put in from across the table.

"Shame on you." Kaitlyn sniffed and put on her best disdainful face. "I quite clearly said two 'n's."

"Perhaps you made a typo." Darkotas waved one hand - the one that wasn't resting on Iximaz's shoulder. "It happens to the best of us."

"Not to me," Phobos growled, playing up his glare for all it was worth.

Laughter rippled around the table, and Iximaz straightened up. "As it happens, I was thinking something - but not about cannons, however many Ns they have."

"Told you so," Kaitlyn hissed to her husband. "Bet it's an evil scheme. She seems like the sort."

"Only from a certain point of view." Iximaz smiled that infectuous grin of hers. "I was just thinking - you guys should totally swap."

Huinesoron looked at Kaitlyn, then back to Iximaz. "Trade seats? I'm quite comfortable where I am, actually."

"No, no." Iximaz waved her arms at the four oldbies; she pointed a finger at each of them, then crossed her fingers and her arms. Then, of course, she had to untangle them all, all the while faced by blank stares from the others. "What I mean is, you," she stabbed a finger at Neshomeh, "should go home with Huinesoron, and you," it was Kaitlyn's turn to be on the end of that jabbing finger, "should go back to the hotel with Phobos."

Each of the oldbies stared at their Iximaz-designated partner. Neshomeh was the first to break the silence. "... why, exactly?"

"Why do you think?" Iximaz waved her arms again, narrowly missing Darkotas' face. "To shake things up - switch things about - do I have to spell it out?" She huffed, rolled her eyes, and leant forward. "It starts with an S - and ends with an X - and has an E in the middle."

All the stares turned back to Iximaz. Phobos pressed one hand onto the table, and the other on Neshomeh's arm. "You are aware that it's our anniversary tomorrow, yes?"

"Obviously." Iximaz beamed again. "That's why I'm suggesting this for today."

Darkotas prodded her in the arm. "I think he's implying they don't want to be apart come the morning."

Iximaz opened her mouth for another reply, but Neshomeh got theire first. Taking Phobos' hand in hers, she managed a chuckle. "She's about to suggest we try out the long-postponed married-folk orgy instead."

"I thought that was already planned for this Gathering?" Huinesoron grinned, then ducked under Neshomeh's swinging arm. There was no way to dodge Kaitlyn's elbow, though. "Ow. I jest, I jest."

"Oh, I don't know." Neshomeh looked at him and Kaitlyn speculatively, then winked. "If you've got the bed space to spare..."

"Fortunately not." Kaitlyn rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you two... three..."

"Four," Darkotas supplied. "I'm all for this - it'd be hilarious."

Phobos snorted. "You heard her. Leaving aside all the other reasons this is not happening, there's no room in their bed."

Huinesoron made an earnest face. "There's always room if you stack vertically." The blank stares returned, this time aimed at him. "No? Like... lying on top of each other? Anyone? No?"

"I figured you meant a bunk bed or something." Neshomeh tilted her head. "I wonder how that would work..."

"Oh, come on, is no-one going to say it?" Iximaz looked at each of the others in turn, then let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine, I'll do it. Bunk beds are cool! It's a bed - with a ladder!"

After the laughter died down, Kaitlyn glanced at her husband. "As it happens, we do have a bunk bed tucked away back home."

"You do?" Phobos and Darkotas spoke practically as one. "Why?"

Huinesoron waved a hand in the air. "Historical reasons."

"Right, that." Kaitlyn smirked. "But the point is, it's soft, and warm."

"And very, very big?" Iximaz suggested.

Kaitlyn shrugged. "Not really. It's a bunk bed. They're not designed to be spacious."

"But they are designed to be awesome!" Iximaz was practically bouncing in her seat. "Okay, now we have to do this. Come on, it's a bunk bed!"

"Which aren't quite as fun if you're tall." Darkotas rubbed his head as if in memory of an old wound. "If I had a dollar for every time I've hit my head when I get up too fast, I'd... be able to buy a soda from a vending machine!"

"Not over here, you wouldn't," Phobos pointed out. "They use funny money in England."

"We prefer proper money." Huinesoron looked over at Iximaz and Darkotas. "And who invited you to this orgy, anyway? It's supposed to be married-folks only. Says so right there on the tin."

"We may not be married, but we are together." Iximaz leant over and gave Darkotas an extremely thorough kiss, then wiped her mouth on her sleeve. "See?"

"Oh, well, with an argument like that..." Phobos rolled his eyes.

"No, no, I think it's only fair." Neshomeh squeezed her husband's hand. "It wouldn't be polite to just leave them here, would it?"

"It's going to put quite a strain on the bed, though." Huinesoron closed his eyes for a moment, then shook his head. "No, you can't fit six people on one level of a bunk bed. So how do we decide who goes where?"

"Boys versus girls?" Kaitlyn suggested immediately, earning herself a combination of baffled looks, amusement, and a couple of glares. "All right, all right, it was just an idea... a good idea, but you're obviously too unenlightened to see that."

Huinesoron chuckled, then looked back at the others. "No, there's only one way, and it's for me to ask the most ambiguous question I can: top or bottom?"

Darkotas smirked. "So many choices." He shook his head, then glanced at Iximaz. "I guess I'll go with-"

"Dibs on top bunk!" Iximaz yelled, bouncing up and down in her seat. "Come on come on come on, you know I love climbing."

Darkotas narrowed his eyes. "Shouting louder doesn't mean you get your way."

Phobos chuckled. "Seems to be working quite well so far."

Iximaz glared at him, then switched in an instant to making pleading eyes at Darkotas. "Go on, please?"

But Darkotas had dug his heels in. "I won't take this lying down," he said, to muffled laughter from Kaitlyn and Huinesoron. "I challenge thee in Smash for top bunk!"

"Bring it on!" Iximaz hollered, clenching her fists. Then she hesitated. "We, uh, don't have a computer."

Neshomeh laughed at their disappointed faces. "You could always do it live-action."

"Yeah!" Iximaz leapt from her seat and took up what could charitably be called a fighting stance. "I'm gonna be Zelda!"

"Then I'll be Wario." Darkotas got up with rather less energy and faced her. "Can we get a countdown?"

The oldbies looked at each other and exchanged shrugs. "I suppose," said Kaitlyn. "Three two one go?"

The pair went at it with vigour, and the other four sat back to watch. Huinesoron's eyebrows rose as Iximaz tackled Darkotas, pulling him down to the floor. "I've never played... whatever they're pretending to be, but I thought it was a fighting game?"

Phobos tilted his head, considering the ongoing struggle. "They haven't got superpowers, so I suppose they're resorting to... uh, dirty tactics?"

"'Dirty' is right." Kaitlyn shook her head, trying to hide a grin. "How long before they realise that they'll probably want to share the top bunk?"

"I'm not convinced Iximaz does." Phobos waved a hand airily. "She started the whole hypothetical conversation with comments about 'swapping', remember?"

"Oh, yeah." Huinesoron coughed. "Hypothetical. Right." He glanced at his wife, then looked over at Neshomeh and Phobos. "So... hypothetically... top or bottom?"

Neshomeh stretched, then gave him a slow smile. "I've always preferred the bottom bunk, for spiffy cave and secret fort purposes." Her smile grew, and became positively wicked. "I mean, sure, top has a nice view - but it's so much work going up and down."

Huinesoron's expression froze, and a strange choking noise came from his throat. Getting it back under control, he met her gaze levelly. "Personally, I've always thought it was best to swap over occasionally." He glanced over at Iximaz and Darkotas, who by that point were rolling across the floor. "That way, you get all the advantages - even if it can be quite a, uh, scramble to make the switch."

Kaitlyn spluttered. "Good grief, you two, get a room!"

"I thought that-" Neshomeh and Huinesoron both stopped, and Neshomeh gestured to Huinesoron to continue. "I thought that was the subject under discussion," he said, smiling at his wife.

Kaitlyn glowered at him. "It was mostly under rather more subtle discussion."

Huinesoron made his face the picture of innocence. "I was just talking about bunk beds."

"Sure you were." Kaitlyn rolled her eyes, then met Phobos' gaze across the table. "Can you believe these two?"

"Well, I already knew Neshomeh preferred... the bottom bunk." Phobos' smile appeared slowly, like a sinister reversed Cheshire Cat. "I'm a big fan of the top myself - the view, you know. And it doesn't surprise me that your husband likes to swap around." His teeth gleamed white in his face as his grin reached its full extent. "But the real question is, where would you rather lie? To sleep, obviously."

"That," and Kaitlyn's voice and expression alike were prim and proper, "depends entirely on who's in the other bunk."

The conversation was interrupted by Iximaz resurfacing from the floor. Her hair was a wild mess and her clothes dishevelled, but her red face showed a grin of breathless triumph. "Victory is mine!"

"That's great." Phobos kept his voice as bland as possible. "Your top's, uh, gotten tangled."

"Oh? Thanks." Iximaz tugged the top back down and set about rearranging it. "I knew I should've worn the little black dress today, but then I would've had to make a decision on the leather trousers..."

There was a groan from floor height, and Darkotas dragged himself into view. He was just in just as much disarray as Iximaz, if not more. "Well played, my dear. But," and he waved a finger sternly in her face as the pair sat down at the table again, "don't think this is over. Beware of random pokes from below-"

"Not that random," Kaitlyn murmured. "Oh, what? You were all thinking it."

"-and stealing the ladder." Darkotas rolled his eyes at the oldbies. "You lot have such dirty minds."

"Hey, this whole orgy deal was your girlfriend's idea," Phobos protested. "I still haven't agreed to it."

"Yes, but you will." Neshomeh leant heavily on her husband's arm, looking up at him with her eyes wide. "Won't you, sweetheart?"

Phobos held out as long as he could, but eventually even his resistance crumbled. "Okay, fine. But just this once."

Laughter ran around the table as Neshomeh kissed Phobos on the cheek and sat back with a smug expression. "I knew you'd listen to reason."

Kaitlyn shook her head, smiling. "All joking aside, does anyone have any ideas on what we will do next?"

The other five exchanged a look. "Are we joking?" Huinesoron asked.

Neshomeh shrugged, taking Phobos' hand. "I didn't think we were."

Iximaz snorted. "Of course we're not. You don't think I'd fight with Darkotas over a joke, do you?"

"Yeah, but... right." Kaitlyn blinked. "I still can't tell if any of you are serious."

"Let me put it like this." Huinesoron stood up and grabbed his back, stepping away from his chair. "I'm going home. If anyone wants to come with me... well, then we'll see what happens."

The table was a tableau for a few moments, and then Iximaz got to her feet. She tugged at Darkotas' arm. "If you don't come with me, I shall be severely put out."

Neshomeh was only a couple of seconds behind her, fixing Phobos with a look. "You already agreed."

"I know, I know." Phobos rose, exchanging a look with Darkotas. "And I assure you, I'm not thinking 'what have I gotten myself into this time?'."

"Good." Neshomeh tossed her head as she collected her things. "If you were, I'd have to banish you to the top bunk with Iximaz."

"Hey!" The younger PPCer looked affronted. "Are you implying I'm some kind of punishment?"

"Ugh." Kaitlyn pushed her chair back, stood, and fixed her husband with a glower. "This is totally cheating."

"Yes, I know." Huinesoron grinned. "I've still got your ticket. Come on." He held out an arm.

Kaitlyn crossed the floor and nestled in against him. "Still cheating. But I'll let you get away with it this time."

Huinesoron kissed her on the top of the head. "You're so terribly kind." Together, they set off towards the door.

"Hey, Kaitlyn!" Kaitlyn half-turned to see Darkotas, walking hand-in hand with Iximaz, trying to catch her attention. "Do you really have a bunk bed?"

Kaitlyn looked shocked. "Well, of course. You didn't think I'd lie about something important, did you?"