The sickly sweet smell of puréed watermelon was what finally woke Desdendelle. He groaned and opened his eyes, blinking owlishly as he tried to make out his surroundings. The floor beneath him seemed to be moving, which, coupled with the watermelon smell, didn't exactly do wonders for his stomach.

"Oh, good, you're awake," a girl said. Des looked around for the speaker. A lanky girl who looked to be about his age was sitting on what looked to be a horse-print Japanese body pillow, fiddling with a small painted wooden duck.

"What- who-?"

"Oh, sorry, I guess I should have introduced myself." The girl tossed the duck over her shoulder and moved from the pillow to sit next to Des; he realized that, for whatever reason, he was lying in a pile of fluffy plush penguins. The girl gave him an apologetic smile. "I'm Iximaz. My friend Randa's around here somewhere, and that's Bernard in the corner, and the lady you're sitting on is Neshomeh."

Des jumped almost a foot when the mound of penguins shifted, revealing a woman dressed in a penguin suit. "What even-?"

"Someone say my name?" penguin!Neshomeh asked, yawning. She focused on Des. "Oh, hello."

"Uh... hi?"

Neshomeh smiled vaguely and buried herself back under the penguins. A moment later, a faint snoring could be heard issuing from the mound.

Des shook himself and stood- rather, he tried to stand. The floor pitched, throwing him off his feet and into a small stack of books titled Zambezi Mod for Civilisation V. An indignant squawk from the unlucky penguin he'd landed on echoed through the room.

Iximaz held out a hand and pulled Des off the poor bird. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," he replied, swatting a sticky electric toothbrush off his pants. Where the heck had that come from? And was that penguin wearing bikini mail? What the-?

"Uh, I guess you want to know what's going on," Iximaz said, leading Des over to a wall and sitting down. Des hesitated, but when the floor rocked again, he decided he'd rather sit than risk falling on another aquatic bird.

"An explanation would be nice," he said.

Iximaz grimaced apologetically. "Well, it wasn't my idea, but someone thought it would be funny to... well..." She trailed off, biting her lip.

"What is going on?"

She reached up and flipped open a circular window covering to reveal an endless plain of gray-blue waves. Des stared at the ocean, a nasty feeling forming in the pit of his stomach.

He'd been shipped.