Author: Phobos
DawnFire had just sat down to her meal of maple-leaf shaped pancakes when there was a knock on her door. She let out an exasperated sigh and pushed herself away from the table. As she walked sullenly to the door she muttered under her breath about being interrupted and things she might do with a hockey-stick to whoever this was.

The knock came again. "I'm coming!" she called, wondering why her dining room was so far from the front door. "Hold your horses." She reached the door and opened it.

Outside, there was a man in a dress. He had gray paint and dark green lipstick on his face. The most striking thing about him, though, were the papier-mâché, orange horns on his head. "Hello," he said. "You Remember Me, Of Course."

"I can't say that I do," said DF. "Why are you speaking so oddly and why is there a pony on my lawn?"

"I Am Outhra And That Is Maplehoof. I Felt It Might Be Appropriate To Bring Her Along, Considering The Predisposition Of People From Canada To Enjoy Maple Themed Things. Also, I Am Not Speaking Oddly. I Am Merely Portraying The Particular Accent Of One Kanaya Maryam, Who Happens To Speak With A Certain Formalness And Green Color. It Is A Very Interesting Topic And, In Fact, The Reason I Am Here In The First Place. You See, It Occurred To Me Earlier That I Should Probably Enlighten You As To What You Are Missing Out On. Therefore, Let Me Tell You About Homestuck!"

DF was left confused by all of this. "You're speaking in green. How are you speaking in green? No, wait. Better question. How am I hearing you speak in green?" She put her hand over her eyes and hung her head. "You know what, I don't even care. Let's make a deal. If you stop talking like that, you can share in my ridiculously-stereotypically-Canadian, but also very tasty, pancakes and maybe we can have some ridiculously-stereotypically-Canadian sex."

Outhra thought about that for a moment. "I'm not really sure what that last bit is all about, but I'm in." He took his horns off and went into the house.

"Well, it's just like regular sex, but more polite and with a little more maple syrup." The door closed behind them, leaving Maplehoof chomping grass on the front lawn.