Six rooms. Six beds.

Six...

"Oh, my darling."

"Oh, my darlingest darling..."

Pause.

Neshomeh sat up. "No, I'm sorry, you've ruined the mood completely."

Blinking, Phobos joined her. "You don't like endearments? You always have before..."

Neshomeh twitched. "Stop with the ellipses!" she protested. "First you mindlessly copy me, then you create a pointless superlative, and now you cap it all by using two ellipses in three sentences!" She flung herself back against the cushions with a dramatic hand to her forehead. "Oh, Phobos, why do you not love me any more?"

"Now, Neshomeh, you know that's hardly fair. If I didn't love you, would I do... this?"

Beat.

"That was another ellipsis!"

Five...

JulyFlame sat, arms folded, glowering at Artell. "That was rude, annoying, and quite simply unwelcome," she said flatly. Artell shrugged.

"Let it lie, July," he suggested. "I've got something far more interesting in mind."

"No," JulyFlame said firmly (which Artell thought a very apt adverb). "No sex until you take it back."

"... all right," Artell said with a sigh. "I'm sorry for suggesting that we might want to consider playing a game of-"

"You think that's an apology?" JulyFlame protested. "You're not listening to a word I say!"

Four...

"I think it could totally work!"

"Kit, it's physically impossible," Laburnum explained patiently. "Legs simply don't move like that."

"... oh." kitsune106 thought for a moment. "Well, what about if we set up a kind of rope rigging? Support it like that, and-"

"No, Kit, it would break," Laburnum said - less patiently now. "Can we just do something, I don't know, realistic?"

kitsune106 frowned, looking around the room, taking in the various items of what might best be termed paraphenalia. Most of them were covered in fur. "I don't think I know that word," he said worriedly.

Three...

"Oh Da-ann..."

"Mm?"

"I'm waiting for you, Dann..."

"That's nice, dear." Techno-Dann leant in closer to the computer, frowning at the tangle of code. "Did I forget to close something?" he murmured. "Or maybe...?"

"I'm not wearing any clothes and I'm waiting for you," Vixenmage went on from behind him. Techno-Dann nodded slightly.

"Lovely, dear," he said. Maybe if he ran it in debug mode... no, the problem was somewhere else. Perhaps up here.

"I'm ready and waiting for wild sexing, Dann," Vixenmage went on, her voice tinged with hopelessness. Techno-Dann frowned.

"I'll be right with you, dear," he mumbled. Okay, start from the top...

Behind him came an exasperated sigh, and then the sound of Vixenmage pulling on a silky robe, stepping down from the bed and walking over to put her arms around him. "All right, all right," she said, looking over his shoulder. "What've we got?"

Two...

"... you spend too much time on other people's ships, and not enough on me!"

Data Junkie looked uncomfortably between Tray-Gnome and the computer. "Yeah, but... it's the Shipfic Fest."

"So start shipping!" came the reply. "Honestly, I'm right here. We've got a bed and everything."

"But I need to write something..." Data Junkie protested. Tray-Gnome sighed exasperatedly.

"Then write something with me in it. No one else is." Pause. "And by 'write something', I mean 'come over here and let's do the sex already', get it?"

"But I-"

"Now."

One...

"Yes, and then she puts her hand there, and he pressed a finger to that..."

Kaitlyn sat up from her nap and raised an eyebrow. Huinesoron was standing in front of a blank wall, gesturing strangely with both hands. He was also naked, which was nice, but didn't make any more sense out of things.

"And then he moans, and she kisses him... yes, there."

"hS, what in all the worlds are you doing?" Kaitlyn asked, standing up and walking to stand next to him. He glanced over his shoulder at her, taking in her nude form with a glance.

"Oh, hello, lover. Nice nap?"

"Mm, yes it was," Kaitlyn agreed. "But you're avoiding the question."

Huinesoron frowned, realised his hands were still in the air, and dropped them rapidly to his sides. "Well, I was just... would you believe a 'nothing'?"

"No," Kaitlyn said flatly. "It looked like you were using magical powers to control people in what might be called intimate ways."

"... well, maybe I was."

"hS," Kaitlyn said, "you don't have magical powers."

"... yeah, but I might."

"You don't."

"Shurrup. It's fun anyway."

Six rooms. Six beds. And not one of them being used.