Author: Phobos
Auditorium Hijinks
"Um... excuse me." said a quiet, squeaky voice over the auditorium PA system. "We've experienced a corset malfunction. Our trained professionals are working on the problem and the show will start shortly. Thank you."

In the auditorium, people went back to talking amongst themselves.

"Any idea what's going on?" asked Pieguy.

"No idea," replied Maslab. "But I think Fluttershy just said there was a corset malfunction. There's something not right about that."

Across the auditorium, in a shady corner, Data and Tray were killing time by taking turns making out with Caddy.

Doctorlit looked around the room. "This all seems very familiar, if entirely backward."

"No idea what you're talking about," said melancholicPoet.

Doctorlit was about to explain when the lights went out. A hush fell over the room, with an exception made for the sounds of making out coming from Data, Tray and Caddy. The darkness and silence dragged on to the point that everyone wondered if a fuse had blown.

A spotlight sprang to life, fixed center stage on a tall girl with short red hair. She wore a black mini-kilt, dark red tank-top, and thigh-high boots. "Thanks for your patience," she said in that same quiet squeak. "Now, without further ado..." Bryn's lips curled into a grin and her voice changed. Gone was the gentle shyness. It was replaced with throaty power. "We are the Department of Badass and we aren't here to sing sappy love songs! We're here to rock!"

Her last sentence was punctuated by the sound of drumsticks clicking together. After four clicks, every light on the stage flared to reveal the entire band.

The eye was drawn first to the drummer. Her hair was styled into liberty spikes; each spike dyed red, yellow, or orange. She wore a black leather vest with red and orange flames embossed on it. July's drumsticks flashed across the kit as the song began.

Near the drums was a pair of guitarists. They wore matching black jeans. Their black tee-shirts were tight; one displayed a bee holding up a lighter, while the other sported a sheep with a battleaxe. Annabee set up the melody, while Himochi played rhythm.

On the other side of the stage from them was the bassist. She was on the smallish side, but her red hair had been styled into a mohawk. She was decked out in, what appeared to be, a single black ribbon that had been wound strategically around her body. VM was laying down the bass line with a smile on her face.

Behind VM was a keyboard set-up. The Boarder behind the keys had all of her hair tucked under a pinstriped fedora, which matched her bikini top, suspenders, and pants. PitViperOfDoom's fingers glided across the keys.

When Bryn began to sing, she was joined by another woman. This one had her dark hair lightly spiked. Neshomeh was dressed in tight leather pants and a black corset with red trim. She added harmony and backup vocals to Bryn's lead.

The song was about killing Sues and the crowd was really getting into it. Nakkel was waving his shirt above his head. The Irish Samurai was holding up a sign (we're still not sure where he found it on such short notice) that proclaimed his desire to "have VM's babies!" TheScribe had stolen Data away from Tray and Caddy. The four of them were doing more than just making out in that back corner.

The song reached the bridge, which gave Annabee and Himochi a chance to play dueling guitars. They went back and forth, getting faster each time. It would have gone on, except that July broke in with a drum solo.

While all of that was going on, Nesh and Bryn engaged in a little fanservice by kissing and caressing center stage. They broke the kiss and grinned at the audience before launching back into the song.

As the song came to an end, the assembled Boarders went wild. Boxer shorts were thrown on stage, as was Araeph. She was immediately grabbed by VM and dragged offstage. A few minutes later, a long black ribbon floated down from the catwalk above the stage.

PitViper decided that being the keyboardist should be more exciting, so she went crowd surfing. When she made it back to the stage she was without her bikini top and pants, though she still had her hat and looked very happy. She put an arm around both Annabee and Himochi and walked them toward the dressing rooms while whispering in their ears.

Nakkel climbed on stage, still shirtless, and was hauled off by a grinning July for places unknown.

Neshomeh gave Bryn a wink and, as they disappeared together backstage, a corset and a tank top were tossed back onstage, to the delight of the crowd.

The audience, having no one else on stage to watch, turned on itself. Clothes were discarded as everyone followed the example of Data, Tray, Caddy, and TheScribe.


Meanwhile, in the sound and light booth.

"It was a good show," said Dann from the light board.

"Absolutely," agreed Phobos, who had worked the sound.

There was a sound behind them as Artell's phone rang. "Hello?" he said. "Oh, July. How'd what? How much leather? Less and less all the time? I'll be right there." He hung up the phone. "Gotta go guys. July needs me know." With that he ran for the door.

"Have fun, Princess!" called Phobos at the retreating Artell.

"Very good show," remarked Dann with a grin.