Kaitlyn knocked on the door of her husband's office. "hS? What're you up to in there?"

There was a long silence, and then Huinesoron called back: "Lamenting."

Kaitlyn frowned and pushed open the door. Huinesoron was slumped over his desk, staring at his laptop. Around him, scraps of paper littered the desk.

"Er…" Kaitlyn pushed her glasses up and peered at the screen. "Oh, the Shipfest? Having fun?"

"No." If his voice was anything to go by, Huinesoron's woe was as deep as the chasm of Khazad-Dum stacked on top of the Mariana Trench. "It's all gone horribly wrong."

Kaitlyn blinked and studied the screen again. "Looks like people are getting really into it - hem, hem."

"Sure." The lack of enthusiasm in Huinesoron's voice could have moved mountains, except it couldn't be bothered. "But I can't write the stories I want to write."

Kaitlyn patted his shoulder. "People attaching too many conditions to their participation?"

"No, they're actually really good about that. But-" Huinesoron searched through his heap of papers and held one up. "I had this really good Space Ranger joke to make about Thoth in my 'tallest Boarder' fic, but he never mentioned his height."

Kaitlyn's eyebrow rose above her glasses. "Uh-huh."

"And, and Zingenmir." Huinesoron hunted for another tattered note. "Her name's Zingenmir."

"... yes, I gathered that."

"But if she was still DawnFire, I could have done this whole thing with Midnight, or Moons, or," he checked the paper, "SunAndMoon, it would have been perfect."

"I feel like it's been a few years, you've had time to-" Kaitlyn began, but her husband was already rooting out another torn paper.

"And I really wanted to ship Kittyauthor with KittyNoodles, KittyEden, and kittythekatty." Huinesoron frowned at the paper. "Possibly Kitty's Muse too, but I'm not sure she was real."

Kaitlyn leant across him and plucked the note from his fingers. "hS… haven't most of these people been gone for years?"

"That's the problem," he confirmed gloomily. "I hoped they'd come back for a visit just in time, but…" He shrugged, then returned to staring at the screen.

Kaitlyn sighed and knelt down next to his chair. "Huinesoron."

"Yes?"

"You're being ridiculous."

Huinesoron looked hurt. "Am not."

"Are too." Kaitlyn squeezed his knee. "You're getting hung up on passing fancies-"

"Oh har har."

"-instead of focussing on the shipping you can do."

"I mean…" Huinesoron tapped the mouse, bringing up the Official Shipping List. "I thought about doing something with the 'no inanimate objects' crowd, but I can't come up with anything even remotely funny-"

"Huinesoron." Kaitlyn prodded his kneecap. "I meant me."

"... oh."

"And not in a story."

"Oh."