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|MY COOL STORY|
|1 2 3 4 INTRODUCTION TO COOL|
“One… Two… Three!”
“One… Two… Three!”
There is a distinctive sound that is made when a DRAGON rams its head into a wall. That sound had resonated through the halls of PPC HQ fourteen-
fifteen times in the course of the last few minutes. At an unspecified point in the hallways, not that any point could be specified the same way twice, one could find the source of this sound, one Agent VERRA. With a snort, the gargantuan DRAGON pulled away from the wall she had been charging at repeatedly, sat back on her haunches, and tried in vain to rub the front of her head. Next to her, a comparatively much smaller being stomped its foot in frustration.
“Come on!” it said, waving its arms frantically in the air. “If you don’t get to busting down this wall pronto, we aren’t going to have enough empty space to build the PPC Arcade!”
“Thanks for telling me things I already know, ALEC,” VERRA snapped, sitting back on her haunches and shaking Generic Surface dust off of herself.
“Less sarcasm, more wall-smashing!” commanded the now-identified ALEC, growing a pair of mandibles just so she could click them in irritation. Being a shapeshifter has its perks.
Snarling as well as anyone could manage with a beak, VERRA pulled herself back as far as she could in the surprisingly roomy hallway and focused her anger at the spot in the wall that had already been showing large quantities of cracks. Narrowing her eyes, she rushed at it again, her footfalls rumbling in the corridor louder than they ever had before.
With a rumble far above, a section of the wall began to collapse in on itself. ALEC smiled and crossed her arms in satisfaction, despite having done almost none of the work, and VERRA pulled back just in time to prevent being hit by a perfectly square chunk of material. As the dust settled, however, the two DMS Agents could hear a noise from deep inside where the wall once was. It was low, menacing, and just a little ethereal, but when they focused on it just enough, they knew what it was.
It was a villainous laugh.
The Generic Dust swirled and clustered, as though it was being blown about by a very small cyclone, condensing into shapes that lasted for only a few seconds before blowing apart. All the while, the laugh continued, albeit distorted by the sounds of the swirling dust and the noise of a few more pieces of Generic Surface falling down from the ceiling. It was only when the dust settled back to the ground that ALEC and VERRA saw the source of the laugh. It was a MUSHROOM. VERRA recognized him immediately.
“The BRACKET FUNGUS!” she exclaimed with surprise.
“The who?” asked ALEC.
A COOL EVIL PERSON SAID VERRA
“Wait, if he’s dead, what was he doing in our wall?” inquired ALEC, still confused.
“FOOLS!” the BRACKET FUNGUS declared, swooping toward the Agents. “I am not dead! Not any more! But though I am a ghost, I can still act out my revenge!”
“Oh, for the whole ‘deposing and killing you’ thing?” asked VERRA.
“YES! The day I died was the worst day of my life! And now that my ghost is free from that accursed wall, I am free to make everyone in the PPC have the worst day of their lives!”
“I’ll never let you kill everyone!” VERRA declared, readying herself to attack the being hovering before her.
“Oh, no, not that,” the BRACKET FUNGUS replied dismissively. “I considered doing killing you all, true, but I think it will be a much worse day for everybody involved if you are alive at the end to reflect on what a terrible day it was.”
“I’d be lying if I said that was doing anything to convince me not to charge at you,” remarked VERRA, scraping her rearmost foot back in an intimidation technique she had learned from a long-forgotten movie.
“Just you try!” the BRACKET FUNGUS boomed. “Do you think that I will stop my righteous quest to ruin everyone’s day just because I am threatened by a reptile? My reputation as a sinister mastermind would be squashed!”
It is worth noting that he only had reached the word “righteous” before VERRA began barreling down the hallway at high speed, horns ready and several tons of prehistoric beast behind them. However, there is a reason that people rarely run headlong at ghosts, brandishing weapons of either the stabbing or thrusting varieties. Ghosts are almost gaseous in nature, and can be passed through with great ease by anyone moving at faster than a crawl. VERRA, however, had never encountered a ghost before, and so was enormously surprised when her horns, her head, and then her entire body went flying through the torso of the BRACKET FUNGUS, who continued to speak unhindered.
By the time he reached the word “mastermind”, VERRA’s head had smashed through what would have been the far wall of the PPC Arcade. The triceratops, quickly realizing her predicament, tried to free herself, but to no avail. Her bony head-frill had caused her to be stuck fast in the room beyond, and since it was one of Headquarters’s many abandoned Response Centers, no one on the other side was there to help her. The BRACKET FUNGUS had never even paused in his declaration.
“Well, that gets rid of one witness.” the ghost announced triumphantly. “I’m probably going to need to kill the other one, though, to keep the dramatic tension up. Shame.”
“Ha! Good luck!” declared ALEC with a smirk. “I’m indestructible! You can’t kill someone who’s indestructible! It’s like… a rule or something!”
“I am the BRACKET FUNGUS,” her opponent boomed. “I make the rules.”
Thrusting his arm forward, he launched a bolt of Force energy at ALEC, who reacted instinctively by shifting into a smaller form to dodge the blow. A second blast prompted a second transformation, and after a third, ALEC had shifted to the form of a small rodent, and in that size was small enough and fast enough to dodge several other Force blasts. If she had possessed the time do so, she would have gloated, but since time was short, she scampered underneath the BRACKET FUNGUS and prepared to reassume her full size and strength. However, before she could, the ghost’s eyes glowed brightly, and she was sent soaring across the hallway, crashing into a wall with an almost imperceptible thump.
Groaning, the rodent form stood up, preparing to shift to a fast-moving form and fetch reinforcements, but she found that she couldn’t shift to her preferred speed form. In fact, she couldn’t shift out of her rodent form at all.
“Man,” she said, her voice high-pitched and almost unintelligible due to her small size. “This sucks.”
The BRACKET FUNGUS floated over to her, grinning an abnormally childish grin. “Say again?”
“YEEEEEES!” the ghost shouted. “To you, I bestow the first of many terrible days! And I will not rest until the Protectors of the Plot Continuum has the collective worst day in the history of bad days!” The vengeful ghost rose into the air, laughing to himself as he phased through the ceiling.
Directly above, the ANTIGRAVITY APPLE, the Big Thorn’s younger brother, was shuffling down the hallway to see what all the crashing and smashing had been about a few minutes ago. When the laughing ghost appeared directly ahead of him, he stopped with a start, dropping his clipboard and a few other administrative devices on the floor.
How many times have I told people not to do that? he snapped. I am a Flower, and I will not have people passing through walls and floors in front of me! At least you didn’t come down from the ceiling, but mind you, that's hardly a compliment.
“Really?” asked the ghost. “Would it have made your day worse if I had?”
Undoubtedly, the ANTIGRAVITY APPLE replied.
Wordlessly, the ghost continued to float higher and higher, passing through the ceiling within seconds and promptly reversed direction, floating back down to the ANTIGRAVITY APPLE’s level and phasing through the ceiling from the opposite direction.
NOOOO! bellowed the ANTIGRAVITY APPLE. I just told you not to do that!
“BU-WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!” the BRACKET FUNGUS laughed, back-flipping through the air in glee and lighting the ANTIGRAVITY APPLE aflame with Force lightning on the dismount. As the Flower howled in sudden pain and fled through the halls, the BRACKET FUNGUS floated leisurely in the opposite direction, brainstorming further revenge.
|1 2 3 4 INTRODUCTION TO COOL|