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Mysterious Nonscience Reader 2014
HrnmsGrbrd -- Humour/Parody -- Posted: 24/09/2014 -- Updated: 29/09/2014
(Issuer’s note: One of my readers and devoted fans asked me to post this here, because his account has not been confirmed yet. Hrnms.)

Cast:
Androiaavata – female night-elf druid and potential PPC agent.
Hieronymus – male human scientist, trans-dimensional snatcher and trans-dimensional hopper attempting to write himself into the PPC without ever asking for Permission.

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Harry Potter. The copyright for these wonderful books belongs to Joanne K. Rowling. Harry Potter, names, characters and related indicia are copyright and trademark Warner Bros.; "Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles )" belongs to proudhousewife, who may or may not also be Grace Ann Parsons; the briefly mentioned PPC was created by the original agents, Jay and Acacia; and the World of Warcraft (Androia’s home continuum) is the property of Blizzard Entertainment. As far as a Player’s Character can be owned, Androiaavata belongs to Hieronymus, who himself – well, belongs to himself.

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Prologue

"I cannot read this," said Androia, handing the book back to Hieronymus. "The blurb says that there is magic in it."

"C'mon, don't be silly. You are a druid. You do magic!"

"There is a difference. Did you ever pay attention to the back story when you played the game? We can safely use the magical forces of nature, but when our ancestors discovered this well of arcane magic, they called the demons from the Netherworld upon us."

"But you need to know the canon," insisted Hieronymus.

"How can I know that the magic in this book is not arcane? I will not take the risk."

Hieronymus gave in. "Well then, there may be an alternative." He turned the monitor to an angle more convenient to be read by two persons sitting side by side, but not too close together. "Sit here and look what I found on the Internet."

Androia pulled a chair over to the console and sat down, carefully keeping a distance that would neither insult her partner by obviously staying away nor provoke unwanted action by undercutting his cuddling radius. Then she read what was displayed on the screen:

Books > Harry Potter
Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles )
By: proudhousewife
Do you want your little ones to read books; and they want to read the Harry Potter Books; but you do not want them to turn into witches? Well-this is the story for you! This story has all the adventure of JKR's books; but will not lead your children astray. For concerned mommies everywhere! Blessings! Grace Ann
Rated: Fiction K - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,623 - Reviews: 1,515 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 312 - Updated: Sep 18 - Published: Aug 25 - id: 10644439


"I remember," said Hieronymus, "that this was a concern when the books were published, and apparently it still is. Harry Potter may even still be banned from some school libraries. So somebody went through the trouble of removing the magic from these books to protect us all."

Androia frowned. "Mommies? Are you trying to imply something?"

"I wouldn't ever," protested Hieronymus. "You know that I got over this! I just thought that it may be for concerned night elves as well."

"Is this so? I will trust you then," said the night elf, and began to read out loud.

(to be continued)
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