fanficWorld| HrnmsGrbrd -- Humour/Parody -- Posted: 24/09/2014 -- Updated: 29/09/2014 |
"Hagrid laughed wisely. ‘Evolution is a fairytale. You don't really believe that, do you?’"
"Yes, I do."
"’Yes, I do!’ Aunt Petunia screeched."
"But she probably got it all wrong."
"’Well then prove it!’ – Can you prove it?"
"Actually no, because science doesn’t actually prove anything ever. We just attempt to describe the world in a formalized way that allows calculating the outcome of future events. If what happens doesn’t match the calculations, the hypothesis is disproved. If there is enough evidence that the world matches our calculations, the hypothesis may be promoted to the status of a theory, or even a natural law. But dropping five hundred billion stones still doesn’t prove that nobody will ever find a way to disprove Newton’s law of gravity."
"This is interesting, I –"
"From a scientific point of view, it's entirely possible that somebody created the world just yesterday or last year, and that the creator faked our memories, wrote our history books and arranged all these false evidence to make us believe that the universe must exist since at least several billion years. This hypothesis is inherently non-disprovable, it's just not very useful. Sorry, I interrupted you?"
“I once tried to drop a bird," said Androia. "It flew high up into the air. Did I disprove the law of gravity?"
"Ah, if you experiment with living beings, you get into dealing with the concepts of free will and defying entropy. Next time, try to drop an airship or a balloon, and then learn something about buoyancy. The so-called natural laws are actually simplifications that work in many circumstances, but if you want to make them work in all circumstances, you have to take additional factors into account, and it becomes more and more complex. If we ever find the perfect description of everything, it may be so complex that a universe-sized computer would be needed to do the calculations."
"I wonder whether Petunia knows this. –
"Aunt Petunia could only stare at him; and her big mouth hung open dumbly. Here she thought she was so educated; and always demanded that Christians prove what they believed in; but she couldn't even prove her own religion. It was then that Harry knew who the smart one here was! – Demanding to prove what we believe is a bit stupid. Why would we need to believe if we knew?"
"I don't see how either of them won the argument. They’re both stupid.”
"'Tell me how to get to this heaven place!' Harry cried wistfully, clasping his hands together. Sometimes, the wisdom of little ones is really amazing. We think we grownups know it all; but then God speaks through the mouths of little ones; and shows us how we are all mortals struggling along the path of life. Humility."
"I'm not sure whether it's god who speaks, but I wouldn't say that this is entirely wrong – except Harry's behavior in this story."
"'All you have to do is be saved. Do you want to be saved?'"
"Sounds easy."
"'I do, I do!' Harry squealed, jumping up and down."
"Really, Harry is supposed to be eleven! Do eleven years old kids act like this Harry? I don't remember, it's been a long time.”
"There is no sense in asking me. You made me full grown up and gave me no childhood memories."
"I'm sorry, that's how the game works. Can we watch how Harry is saved now?"
"'Then pray the sinner's prayer!' – What is the sinner’s prayer?"
"Dunno. You may look it up when we finished this chapter. We're nearly there."
"Aunt Petunia tried to stop him; but she was powerless against Harry's pure, innocent, holy energy. Soon, Harry had said the prayer. Hagrid beamed happily."
"Well, that was easy."
"'You're a Christian now, Harry!' Hagrid cried proudly. – That is it? Where is the conflict? The character growth? The struggling for doing good over easy?"
"Good over easy? Did you secretly read the books?"
"No, I just extrapolated. And look, it is not over yet –
"Harry smiled but then interrogated, 'But how do I be a Christian? I don't know how!'"
"Does he grill Hagrid?"
"Hagrid grinned widely. 'There is only one place to learn that-Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles!' – Oh, he dropped the closing parenthesis."
"You're right. The title says Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles right bracket".
"May this be a typo?"
"That’s possible. Or maybe, for some weird reason, this site doesn’t display the full sideways smile you get when you type a colon, a hyphen and a closing parenthesis."
"You mean this may be a parody? And it was even intended to show in the title, but it does not work? "
"Excuse me, a have to go to the bathroom. We'll discuss this later."
"And there is another Author's Note: SO what do you all think? I may not be a professional writer; but I think I am being given the talent to pull this off in service of a greater mission equal sign closing bracket.
"Blessings!
"- Grace Ann – I wonder what Hieronymus would have said to this if he were still here."
(may be continued)
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And another author's note: It is hard work to navigate this minefield with an Agnostic raised Christian and a Believer in a fictitious religion I know nearly nothing about. They are so easily distracted by their own issues. But it’s fun so far.
I hope I didn't offend anybody.
I also hope I didn't butcher World of Warcraft canon too much.
HG.
| JayBird |
| Umm youre Happy Potter sotry is reely goo but I don't't unserdand why yuor argents are sayin tihngs about it. Is tihs like Modem Art, wehre it dousn't make sens unless you reed a book abut it? B/c I dont liek Moden Arp adn I tihnk it wood be bette if you jsut post teh Hairy Podder prats. |