Author: OperaticEagle
Flagpole Sitting
Published: 2019/09/20
AN obviously the PPC doesn't belong to me. Neither does the works of Harvey Danger, which are used here. No copyright infringement is intended. Having said that...
Nume stared at himself wearily for a solid 20 minutes every morning before he actually got out of his room.

I had visions I was looking into the mirror

It wasn't as if he wanted to exactly--it was less vanity and more an attempt to avoid the outside world a little longer.

To see a little bit clearer

This particular morning was different, because after staring for five minutes he suddenly flung himself at the mirror and smashed it to pieces while swearing furiously. Ilraen slept. Ilraen was good at ignoring this sort of undirected anger at this point.

The rottenness and evil in me

"Why... god... dammit!"

Fingertips have memories

Undirected anger, if only. Nume knew exactly what he was mad at. Or rather, who. Himself.

Mine can't forget the curves of your body

He wanted to forget what had just happened. Unfortunately, that wasn't really an option so he curled into the fetal position. All he had to do was pretend this never happened.

And if I feel a bit naughty

He hadn't done anything last night.

I run it up the flagpole and see who salutes (but no one ever does)

He hadn't mast-- erm--- he hadn't-- no, no. no. avoid avoid avoid don't think about it don't say it.

I'm not sick but I'm not well

Unfortunately for Nume, his mirror-smashing had attracted attention from the single worst person, because it was from the single person he didn't want to see him.

And it's so hot

Or rather, the one person he didn't want to see. Especially not half naked with a slight sheen of sweat accentuating his well-developed muscles.

‘Cause I'm in hell!

"What's eating you?" Asked Agent Suidicide.

Put me in the hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me

"Nothing!" shouted Nume. "Go talk to someone who wants you around. Or what, has Jenni brought that count down to zero by leaving you alone?"

You told them all I was crazy

"Jenni and I are just fine, but this..." Su gestured at the broken glass. "Well, it doesn't seem like nothing..." The Scythian's brow wrinkled for a moment, a slow smile pulling across his face. "...Nume, might you have some kind of ulterior motive for wanting me gone?"

They cut off my legs now I'm an amptuee god damn you!

"Fuck off."
"Well," said Su, "it's just that I noticed you are specifically shielding particular parts of your body from me and I suspect that you might be trying to hide something... uncomfortable."
"Fuck you." Nume shifted, pulling himself up out of the odd, half-fetal position. Su had a point. Or, to be more precise, he was dead on--Why else would Nume have bent himself away from the door and then twisted his head back to talk?--but Nume wouldn't admit it in several thousand years and both of them knew it.

I'm not sick but I'm not well

"Ohh, really?" Su smirked. "Well, then I sure you'd just hate it if I did this!" And with that, he grabbed Nume, kissing him firmly on the lips.
"MIiirff!" Nume gasped. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

And I'm so hot, ‘cause I'm in hell!

"At least one part of you seemed to enjoy it..." Suicide rubbed the smaller man's back. "Relax. I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm not even gonna do anything else to you. Just... relax."

I'm not sick but I'm not well

Nume struggled, but it was hard. He wasn't going anywhere. Su's grip was just too tight. And.. well.... The rubs did feel nice...

And it's a sin... to live so well!

"There... Okay. Calm?" Su smiled. "I'll let go of you. You can stay here if you like. You can go. Your choice."

I'd like to turn off time

Nume thought.

And kill my mind...

And thought.

You kill my mind

"Please," he said exhaustedly. "Just... hold onto me?"
"Okay..." Said Su.
And then, in that confused moment of exhaustion and pent up emotion, Nume kissed him.

Paranoia! Paranoia! Everyone is coming to get me!

Nume yelped, curling up into himself.
"Calm!" said Su. "It's okay!" The commanding presence that Nume, in his darker moments, had to admit he found attractive, sadly didn't help much.

Just say you never met me!
I'm going underground with the moles digging holes!

"Just stop!" said Nume. "I can't stand it anymore!"
"Stand what?" asked Su, suddenly snappish. "Just say it and be done with it!"

Hear the voices in my head I swear to god it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored then you're boring
The agony and the irony they're killing me!

"I... I... I... cc..." Nume stuttered. "No! I can't! There's nothing to say!"
"Alright, than I'll say what it is," said Su. "The problem here is that you can't admit you're attracted to me!"

I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot ‘cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And it's a sin
To live so well