I don't own any of the agents, I only wish I did! R&R, please and thank you!

Title: What Happens On Leave...
Story Summary: Three PPC agents try to piece together what happened after a wild party while on leave. Ian Nahinu/Danny Richardson/Drake
Category: PPC
Rating: R
Genre: Romance/Humor

Ian woke up with a headache. Not that he was surprised or anything. Not with the amount of drinking that had happened the previous night.

The Flowers had essentially declared a weekend off for the entire PPC. He vaguely remembered the horrified look on the barman's face as hundreds of Assassins and Bad Slashers had queued up to order something to drink.

He was lying on the floor back in his own RC. "Okay," he said. "Gotta collect my thoughts. I was at the bar, I was listening to Lee compain about something, then I went outside for some fresh air and somebody said--"

"Move over, would you?"

"No, that wasn't it."

Ian suddenly noticed that he was not alone. There was a tall blond male agent lying next to him. Ian couldn't help noticing he didn't appear to be wearing any clothes, but was instead covered only with a blanket that had apparently been stripped off of one of the bunks. There was a bundle of clothing next to him. "Morning," the other agent said.

Ian leapt upright like the floor was on fire. "What's going on!" he shouted. "Who are you and why are you naked!"

"Of course. No way you'd remember my name from last night, not with the amount you drank. Danny Richardson. As for the nakedness, I think that's pretty self-evident." He nodded at Ian, who looked down to discover that he was also somewhat lacking in the clothing department.

He went pale. "You mean we--"

"Oh come on," Danny said. "I know we were all a bit plastered but it couldn't have been that forgettable. What was that thing you did with your hips during the second run-through? THAT was amazing."

Ian's eyes glazed over as parts of the previous night began coming back to him. "We talked for a while, then went back inside for another drink, then I suggested we come back here..."

"You forgot the bit with the dancing in between the drinking and the leaving to come back here. You're very limber, which certainly came in handy."

"And then -- wait, wasn't there someone else?"

There was a groan from underneath the bundle of clothing, then it shuddered and gave birth to a Drake. He looked up at Ian and waved.

"Morning, sunshine," Danny said. "You certainly slept well."

"Well, large amounts of exercise does make me very sleepy," Drake said with a smile. "You two certainly helped in that regard."

Ian sunk to his knees, stunned. "I really did all those things last night?" he asked.

Drake gave the stupor-fied agent a confused look. "What's with Ian?"

"He's just coming to grips with an acoholic sex crisis."

"I know the cure for that!" The anthro fox leaned over and whispered in Danny's ear.

"You think that'll work?" Danny replied.

"It always cheers me up when I'm down!"

Ian looked up just time to see the two naked agents tackle him. "This is for your own good," Danny whispered before putting his mouth to other uses.

Ten sweaty and eventful minutes went by.

"I have to admit," Ian said. "That did cheer me up."

"I knew it would," Drake panted.

I luved it! Mor, plz!!1!

Ian was idly browsing the newest stories on Fanfic Land when he came across a summary with his name in it. Given that said name was being associated with two other male names, and in a romantic sense at that, he clicked the link out of morbid curiosity.

Five minutes later, fully dressed and in the middle of toweling her hair dry, Lee came out of the bathroom and found her partner staring in shock at his laptop screen.

'Something up, Ian?' she asked, pausing in her attempts to get her short bob dry.

'S-ss-'

'Use your words, Ian. You're not a snake, or at least, you weren't the last time I checked.'

'S-suh-slash,' he managed, turning the laptop so that Lee could see what he'd been reading. 'A three-way between--' he trailed off, and then shuddered. Lee took the laptop from Ian, scrolled up to the top of the page, and then began reading. As she went through the story, her expression switched from vague worry for her partner to a rather disconcerting blankness.

'I see what you mean,' she said finally, staring thoughtfully at the laptop. 'Want me to write a scathing review?'

Ian blinked and then shook his head. 'No,' he replied. 'Just never mention it to me again, and I'll be good. I'm just gonna drown myself in the Fountain of Bleepka. Be right back.'

'Well, at least it wasn't Bad Slash,' Lee volunteered, clearing the history on Ian's browser after switching the page to Cute Overload. 'Here, look at some kittens. It should help.'

'Guh.'