da ferret fins LUV
Published: 2010/07/14

AN: Hiiiiiii guyzs dis is da new story! we gots a bata reeder now so its so muych betta! NO FLAMEZ! dis iz Ro writin cos ma dumb sister dont like hEMlock an sez hes reely a GURL! HE IS NOT! i thot id' do somfin not slash cos my frends sez Daisy an me gotta try writin difrent tings an i dont like slash s much as she do. i fink hmelock is gay forreels in cnon but is MY FIC an i can do WAT I WANT GEDDIT!!!!!1q111 nd if u say i kant u's a meen gay FAG an not in da good cy00te way!

Hemlck is a ferett but not likea pet ferert (I WANNA FRERET IZ NO FAIR DADDY Wont GIMME 1!) hes big as a persn an he cn ta;lk. he is SOOOOOOOOO KY0000T! es' big ad mussely an gots big grene eyues so is HAWT ad hesd kute an fuzzy 2.

So newayz Hemlok was reel sad cos drake didnt like him no more an brok up wiv him cos he was wiv Redd now. so Hemloc wore blak an cut hiz rists and did lots o f drugs and lizend to depresxing musix liek 9inc nails nd Evanescence (I copid dat name off tier site cos its hard to spel but I LOOOOOOOVE em).

an one day he went up onh da roof of hq to jiump of cos he was depresed (HQ DOSE SO HAV AN OUSTIDE MA SISTRE SEZ SO). an he saw is freid laburnum wos goin to fall ONOEZ!

"ONOEZ! Ur goin to fall!" he shooted n ran ad got er b4 she fell.

L (im not goin to tyep all her name agan cos its hasrd) useda be fat an ugly (cos er writers meeen) but shed got anarecksiik an waz real skiny now cept for her boobs wioch was liek a gcup (dats real big). shne diedd her hair blakl now cos brown is borin.; she woz on LOTS of drugs cos she was deprexed 2 .

So dey sat on da wroof an tok dsome pillls (of drugvs) asn cut deir writss an drank da blud cos hemolcks a feret an dey like blud an he kried cos drak didn like im no moer.

"aw dats xo meen1" L said. "no fair cos i liek u an i wudent b meen t u bujt ur GAY and dats no fair! so i am goikn 2 kil miself now!!!1111"

2NOOOO!" sed HEmlokcx. "I lke gurlz to!" (cos by guys are soooooooo sexeh!) an ur SOOOOOOOOO prety! Ur eeys r icy bleu lyke limpid teers (just lik Amy Lee!), yr hari is blacker than the black ravens black wings @ black midnigvht (thats from edgr alan po he iz AWSOM! but dere wasnt enough black in dere so i changd it) n u has relly big bobs."

l gosped "U meen it/ YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!" n she huged him. so dey got off da rof an wnet indors an dey stoped kuttin emsleves an L didn need hr drugs no more cos tey as happy cos dere in LUV. DA END.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Fanfic Land!" Foxglove held up her laptop, showing Skyfire what she was reading. "This is what it would look like if HQ didn't have screening processes."

"What screening processes? They let us join."

"Ha ha, Stormy. Seriously, it's pretty funny." Laburnum scrolled down. "Here we have something apparently written by a ten-year-old boy who failed biology, featuring Lux, Jay, Acacia, that lady Val from Veterinary even though she didn't join up until Jay and Acacia had left, and DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF GOD WHAT IS THAT ELEPHANT DOING THERE?!"

The exorcists peered over her shoulders.

"What's an elephant?" Skyfire asked. "I think I heard the word somewhere and forgot."

"I would presume 'tis a creature that would be physically incapable of doing what this one doth appear to be doing, aye?"

Laburnum nodded, still stunned.

"Y'know, guys, they don't seem to have done anything to you," said Foxglove, skimming through the fic list again. "They got us in there, but not you."

Laburnum looked up at the mustelids. "The fanbrats are more afraid of you than they are of us. I'm not sure whether you should be embarrassed or flattered."

Yay for happy endings! Also, your totally right: bi guys are sexy! :-P
OMFG how can u not now ho she isz?!!1 L iz AWESUM!!!q!!!Q EVwn if iI cant spel hr name rite. n he idid not lyke her 1ss cos he thot he wuz gay an so did eevry1 else but hes not rilly.
Laady Cyskia
erm im confuzled watz goin on????? whose L & y dnt hemilcok lyk her @ 1st????